1980s-era digital technology, smooth plastic strap, and top-notch performance under extremist conditions. The only thing this watch doesn't do is get you to Guantanamo Bay for a long vacation. Oh yeah, it does that.
Amazon.com product reviewer "Marrz" tells us about the watch with NSA capabilities that even Edward Snowden didn't know about:
As a middle eastern hipster it's easy for me to find old 80's American and Japanese technology at the local bazar [sic]. I spied this gem for a pittance of a chicken and HAD to have it. It was better then finding a fixie hauling PBR!! (If I were allowed to drink) No sooner had I strapped my retro classic to my wrist and checked the time that a black hood closed over my head. At first I hoped it was irony but I was wrong SO WRONG!
I was soon moving in a truck, I could feel sweat beading under the rubber strap of my Casio F91W-1 and knew the timepiece was still attached to my wrist able to tell me how long I'd traveled. Alas I awoke in a haze, as my hands clenched behind me I could not check the time.
I couldn't distinguish the pain of the zip tie cuffs from my Casio F91W-1 smooth rubber strap but soon found my new watch dangling before my face as a man screamed "WHY DO YOU OWN THIS WATCH!?!" "To know what time it is I muttered meekly," I could see it was 1AM, I was missing Adventure Time being broadcast from the United States. "CAN YOU TELL ME WHY 32 OTHER TERRORISTS HERE HAVE THIS SAME WATCH!?!" I searched my brain, 32? That sales man said I had the only one in the country, I wasn't unique anymore? I was going to need a new watch. "They were all lied to by the salesman as well?"